I ♥ Marimekko

I don't have a cellular phone, but you do, so I dare you to get this, okay Bubbles?

Baci Vs. Dirty Rotten Kitty

OCTOBABIES! Gee- they're a lot cuter than I thought they might be. See them in action here.

A cabaret singer friend of mine told me he once had dinner with Bea Arthur after a performance in a club. When he asked her what it was like to work with Betty White, she quickly replied "The woman is a C**T!"

In case you ever wondered who Mae West dissed, here's a list!

©2003 J&C Coyle

Colleen is a self-proclaimed Boston Terrier Addict. Pictured above is Elvis & Priscilla complete with press-conference mics. Hilarious. She even has a Boston named "Botchie" who is a girl, unlike our Baci. Make sure to visit the fashion pages.

Someone has an extremely patient Boston Terrier

Sometimes I'm slightly disappointed to find Naho hasn't given the world a new desktop picture, and then I remind myself she must be one of these types of people that actually has a life.

Today was a good day. The temperatures have been in the low 70's which I've been waiting for for six months. Aaaahhhhh.... I love when the air feels like bath water. Makes me feel like dancing around the back yard with a hot dog.

It's probably really hard to sing arias. Sitting here listening to a recording of Nessun Dorma voiced by Luciano Pavarotti, which is really beautiful by the way, you can clearly hear him burp at a pause in the song. For a drama queen like the Pav to allow the recording to be sold around the world, now that's dedication!

You should definitely buy this sketch of Dr. Phil for your girlfriend for Christmas. That way she will be way too scared to talk you into going to the show itself. Want to get scared yourself? Go for the King.

You know that Pepperidge Farm bread, that stuff is fancy. That stuff is wrapped twice. You open it, and then still ain't open. That's why I don't buy it, I don't need another step between me and toast.


You know when they have a fishing show on TV? They catch the fish and then let it go. They don't want to eat the fish, they just want to make it late for something.


I would imagine if you could understand Morse Code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy.


I went to the park and saw this kid flying a kite. The kid was really excited. I don't know why, that's what they're supposed to do. Now if he had had a chair on the other end of that string, I would have been impressed.


At my hotel room, my friend came over and asked to use the phone. I said "Certainly." He said "Do I need to dial 9?" I say "Yeah. Especially if it's in the number. You can try four and five back to back real quick."


I played golf... I did not get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. That's way more satisfying...


I bought a doughnut and they gave me a receipt for the doughtnut... I don't need a receipt for the doughnut. I give you money and you give me the doughnut, end of transaction. We don't need to bring ink and paper into this. I can't imagine a scenario that I would have to prove that I bought a doughnut. To some skeptical friend, Don't even act like I didn't buy a doughnut, I've got the documentation right here... It's in my file at home. ...Under "D".


My friend was walking down the street and he said, "I hear music." As if there is any other way of taking it in. I tried to taste it, but it did not work.


Sometimes I wake up and I think I should start wearing a beret, but I don't do it though. One day I'm gonna though. You bet your ass, I will have a beret on. That's ridiculous, but it's true. I always fight with wearing a beret.


I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.


It's very dangerous to wave to people you don't know because what if they don't have hands? They'll think you're cocky.


Someone handed me a picture and said, "This is a picture of me when I was younger." Every picture of you is when you were younger. "...Here's a picture of me when I'm older." Where'd you get that camera man?


I want to be a race car passenger: just a guy who bugs the driver. "Say man, can I turn on the radio? You should slow down. Why do we gotta keep going in circles? Can I put my feet out the window? Man, you really like Tide..."


I wrote a letter to my dad - I wrote, "I really enjoy being here," but I accidentally wrote rarely instead of really. But I still wanted to use it so i crossed it out and wrote, "I rarely drive steamboats, dad - there's a lot of shit you don't know about me. Quit trying to act like I'm a steamboat operator." This letter took a harsh turn right away...


I don't own a cell phone or a pager. I just hang around everyone I know, all the time. If someone needs to get ahold of me they just say, "Mitch," and I say, "what" and turn my head slightly...


I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, "You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit." As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammible and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.


My friend said to me, "You know what I like? Mashed potatoes." I was like, "Dude, you have to give me time to guess. If you're going to quiz me you have to insert a pause."


An escalator can never break. It can only become stairs. You would never see an "Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order" sign, just "Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience."


A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.


I think foosball is a combination of soccer and shishkabobs.


I have a cheese-shredder at home, which is its positive name. They don't call it by its negative name, which is sponge-ruiner. Because I wanted to clean it, and now I have little bits of sponge that would melt easily over tortilla chips...


I bought a seven dollar pen because I always lose pens and I got sick of not caring.


Every time I go and shave, I assume there is somebody else on the planet shaving as well, so I say, "I'm gonna go shave too."


Sometimes I fall asleep at night with my clothes on. I'm going to have all my clothes made out of blankets.


I wish I could play little league now. I'd be way better than before.


I had a bag of fritos, they were texas grilled fritos. These fritos had grill marks on them. They remind me of something, when we used to fire up the barbeque and throw down some fritos. I can still see my dad with the apron on, better flip that frito, dad, you know how I like mine.


I opened-up a yogurt, underneath the lid it said, "Please try again." because they were having a contest that I was unaware of. I thought maybe I opened the yogurt wrong. ...Or maybe Yoplait was trying to inspire me... "Come on Mitchell, don't give up!" An inspirational message from your friends at Yoplait, fruit on the bottom, hope on top.


The next time I move I hope I get a real easy phone number, something like 2222222. People will ask, "Mitch, how do I get a hold of you?" I'll say, "Just press two for a while, when I answer, you'll know that you've pressed two enough."


A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup traps.


You know they call corn-on-the-cob, "corn-on-the-cob", but that's how it comes out of the ground. They should just call it corn, and every other type of corn, corn-off-the-cob. It's not like if someone cut off my arm they would call it "Mitch", and then re-attached it, and call it "Mitch-all-together".


On a traffic light yellow means yield, and green means go. On a banana, it's just the opposite, yellow means go ahead, green means stop, and red means, where'd you get that banana?


My roommate says, "I'm going to take a shower and shave, does anyone need to use the bathroom?" It's like some weird quiz where he reveals the answer first.


I wrote my friend a letter with a highlighting pen, but he could not read it, he thought I was trying to show him certain parts of a piece of paper.


...and then at the end of the letter I like to write "P.S. - this is what part of the alphabet would look like if Q and R were eliminated.


I got my hair highlighted, because I felt some strands were more important than others.


The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.


My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana, I said "No, but I want a regular banana later, so, Yeah.